Jealousy in children – the 6 most common reasons and how to deal with it

Jealousy, although often associated with adults, is also an emotion that occurs in children. It can take different forms and intensities, and its sources are often complex. Understanding the causes of jealousy in children is the first step in effectively addressing it and creating a loving and understanding atmosphere in the family.

Why are children jealous? The 6 most common reasons

1. New baby in the family:
   • Change in the current order: The birth of siblings is a big event that destroys the existing order in the family. An older child may feel relegated to the background, especially if the parents pay more attention to the new family member.
   • Need for attention: Children need a lot of attention and affection. When a new baby arrives, the older child may feel that this attention is less for him.
   • Competition for love: Jealousy can stem from the belief that parental love is limited and that one must fight for it.
     
2. Comparisons with other children:
   • Environmental pressure: Frequent comparisons of a child with others (e.g., siblings, classmates) can lead to feelings of inferiority and jealousy.
   • Unreasonable Expectations: Excessive parental expectations can cause stress and a sense that a child is never good enough.
     
3. Lack of ability to deal with emotions:
   • Difficulty expressing feelings: Children may have difficulty expressing their emotions, including jealousy. Instead of talking about how they feel, they may display negative behavior.
   • Low self-esteem: A child with low self-esteem may be more prone to jealousy because they feel less valuable than others.
     
4. Changes in family life:
   • Moving, changing schools: Any change in family life can be stressful for the child and cause a sense of insecurity.
   • Illness of a parent: A parent’s illness can make a child feel neglected and begin to envy healthy family members.
     
5. Toys and Possessions:
   • Materialism: Children, like adults, can be jealous of the possessions of others.
   • Lack of sharing skills: If a child has not learned to share, he or she may have difficulty accepting that others have something he or she does not.
     
6. Jealousy of others’ skills:
   • Comparing oneself with peers: A child may envy other children’s skills, talents or popularity.
   • Lack of self-esteem: Jealousy of the abilities of others can stem from low self-esteem and the belief that one will never be as good on one’s own.

How to deal with jealousy in children?

• Open communication: talk to your child about his feelings. Show him that you understand how he feels and that his emotions are important.
• Individual time: Take time just for your child. Show him that you love and appreciate him.
• Praise and reinforce positive behavior: Pay attention to what the child does well and praise him for it.
• Learning to share: Encourage your child to share with others.
• Teaching empathy: Show your child that other people have feelings, too, and that they are worth thinking about.
• Developing interests: Help your child discover new passions and develop his or her talents.
• Consultation with a psychologist: If your child’s jealousy is very strong and makes it difficult for him to function, it is worth consulting a child psychologist.

Summary

Jealousy in children is a natural emotion that can be understood and remedied. It is important for parents to be patient and support their child in difficult times. Remember that every child is different and requires an individual approach.